Lice Happens

I have debated about posting this just because I am still a little too emotional about the whole situation, but I'm going to anyway.  The morning of the last day of school I was helping the girls get their hair ready.  One of her sisters couldn't find her brush, so as soon as I finished up, I handed her sister the brush we had been using.  There was a little bump in the back of her hair, not thinking anything of it, I picked up my brush and brushed through her hair.  She's my daughter, so I brushed through the entire back of her hair.  No big deal, right?  WRONG!!!!

I then proceeded to brush through the underneath of my hair, brushed one side and then, as I was finishing up, I brushed through the front of my hair through to the back.  I looked in the mirror and  I moved at lightening speed.  I grabbed my tweezers from the counter and pulled an imposter from my head.

I screamed, "CRAIG! CRAIG! GET IN HERE!"

He wasn't moving fast enough, I yelled again, he got defensive and then I pointed to the deceased on the counter.  "Is that what I think it is?"

He dodged the question in my opinion, wouldn't answer definitively, but I knew and he knew, and both our stomachs dropped.  I pulled my little girl back in and started looking through her hair.  How in the world did I not see them earlier?  I couldn't believe it.  I benched her and the sister who borrowed her brush and I headed over to the school.  I spoke with my daughters teacher and the office.  It was then I found out there had been lice in her class a month previous.  WHAT?!?!?  How come nobody told me?

We had this situation pop up in the past when a child I watched had lice.  Unfortunately when we found out it was in the middle of a party we were hosting in our home.  Kids everywhere, laying on the sofas together, trying on hats together, needless to say it was like my stomach dropped.  At that point in the game the only thing I could do was contact the parents of everyone who had attended the party.  Was I embarrassed?  Yes.  I was absolutely mortified to make those calls.  And we didn't even have lice!  But the point was knowledge is power, and anyone who has had to deal with these critters knows earlier in the game is ALWAYS easier.  The end of that story is two kids who attended that party ended up with lice.  I panicked and treated my whole family and our home as if we had it.  Why?  The child was at my house every day.  In my kid's rooms, on my furniture, and the ONLY time one of the infected party guests was near this child was in my home.  The vampire bugs had invaded my home.  They may have all been carried away, but I wasn't taking ANY chances.

This was during spring break.  My children were quarantined, all their friends were pretty much quarantined, while moms joined forces and went on lice watch.  It was miserable.  My children didn't understand it was probably worse for me having to deal with bored children during spring break.

Fast forward about six months and AGAIN we find out through the grapevine that we have been exposed to lice.  This time we did have one little bug in one of my daughter's hair.  It was treated, but this time it was the night before their class Halloween parties.  While all their little friends were at school playing dress up we were all at home watching movies and checking hair.  AUGHH!!!!

I am a pretty easy going person, BUT, there is strength in numbers, and with these little critters the more there are the longer the battle.  I HATE LICE!!!!  Hate is a strong word, but appropriately used at this time.

This time it's the last day of school.  The problem being we were in no way prepared for what we were about to face, and this time, they were in MY hair!!!!  This time they have crossed the line.  Anyone who has had a friend or family member with lice knows the minute the word comes flowing from another's lips your head starts to itch.  It's a natural reflex.  Now my head was itching and I wasn't sure if it was because there were bugs crawling around on my head or if I was psychotic.  Regardless what it was, we were taking action and doing so quickly.

The first thing you HAVE to do is contact parents of your children's friends who may have been exposed.  This is miserable.  It is one of the worst conversations to have with anyone, but it HAS to be done.  Did my daughter choose to have her head attacked by little vampire bugs?  No.  Looking back she did have a red spot on her neck a couple days earlier that should have caught my attention.  The problem was lice was so far off my radar, probably because it was a painful memory I wanted to block out, that I didn't even think to check her hair.  Trust me, if you don't and someone gets it they will not be happy with you.


Second, plan your attack.  We do a full court press in our house.  Everyone is treated no matter if we found something on you or not.  We have two non-toxics we use, Quit Nits and LiceMD.  The first is a minimum four hour treatment, and the second has to be on for at least ten minutes before you can start combing.   I am confident some of you reading this are taking the prescription standpoint and wondering why I would make my children have chemicals on their heads unnecessarily.  The answer is my sanity.  I need a starting date.  I don't want to have to play games about when I washed what or what day I found the first bug or egg on who.  Friday was day one.  If the treatments are adminstered correctly all adult lice and recently hatched should be dead.  While combing through you should be combing out all the dead little vampire bugs.  DEAD is the important word here.


Then there is always the issue of the eggs.  They hatch on average seven to ten days after they have been laid on your head, and supposedly they should all be withing 1/2" of the scalp.  We're talking ten hours I had been looking between two girl's hair.  Ten hours, and then I saw it.  One of the eggs was almost six inches from my daughter's scalp!  Oh no, how long have they been here?  I panicked, then I researched. We live in Arizona and apparently in warmer climates the bugs are smart and adjust how far from the scalp they are going to place their little babies.  Whew...maybe...WAIT!  I just spent ten hours and I wasn't looking six inches from their scalps.  AUGHHH!!!!  I have to start again?  The answer was yes.  In order to defeat the vampire bug army you have to get all viable eggs.  Unless you look at each egg you see on the hair shafts with a magnifying glass you will not know which ones have hatched and which haven't.  If you have done this before you might be thinking the white ones are clear, that's what they look like after they've hatched.  This is true, but did you know that newly laid eggs can look almost transparent?  In other words they can resemble the white eggs you think are in the clear.  And don't use location of the egg as a deciding factor either.  I found out the hard way that six inches may or may not be safe depending on the climate.

We bought one of those electronic combs also.  We haven't found any live lice with it yet, but it sure makes the inspecting doable with the two year old.  It definitely sends out an electric current, and I'm willing to try anything at this point.

You may read on the internet to focus your efforts on the hair, the house needs to be cleared but it's not a priority.  In my book that's WRONG.  Depending on which scientific study you choose as your source the bugs can live anywhere from 2 to 4 days off a human host.  Now, I do agree that a dehydrated bug would have to have a perfect opportunity to reinfest your child or set up residency on another family member's head.  BUT, the more there are, the worse your odds are. Our plan for the home runs pretty smooth.  We bag EVERYTHING.  Clothing, stuffed toys, backpacks, towels, pillows, everything is placed in large garbage sacks and our garage starts looking like the city dump with all the trash bags everywhere.  There are piles of things that can be washed, things that can go in the dryer, and things that will stay in the garage for fourteen days...or longer. :)


The darling husband then vacuums and flips every mattress in the house, vacuums all the carpets, the sofa, the chairs, and we quarantined the girls from their rooms.  We set up a tent in the back yard, got out the sleeping bags, and separated everyone by about eighteen inches.  This allowed us to have a cushion of time to work with in case any live bugs are missed by the vacuum. This is the paranoid side of me speaking, but I'm not taking any chances and it's warm enough for the girls to sleep in the tent.

When we aren't picking we're doing laundry.  Our biggest problem this time was I had folded about eight loads of laundry two days before this happened and my daughter was in there with me when I was folding the laundry. Again, the paranoid side of me wondering if by some small chance could something be alive there.  All the clean clothes were going through a high heat dryer cycle. All the pillows and non washables that we had to have available during the next ten days went through the high heat dryer cycle for at least thirty minutes.

Bed linens and towels are washed at the highest heat for the fabric and then dried on a high heat dryer cycle. Now, to put this in perspective you have to know that I have thick medium to long hair.  We have five girls, all have medium to long or long hair.  My husband, I think he used a number four a couple weeks ago, so he's pretty safe...but he still has to be checked daily.  Anyway, the point is who has time to fold all this laundry when you are looking for eggs in everyone's hair?  It was a little overwhelming to me.  Especially since one of those girls is only two and would have a ball playing in all the clean laundry.  So, we bagged up the clean laundry.  Your shirt is now wrinkled you say?  Get over it.  I'm worried about vampire bugs in my hair.  My primary concern is making sure they aren't on your shirt, not making sure the shirt isn't wrinkled...at least not today.

Yes, I am not environmentally friendly today.  I am trying to compost, I recycle, I'm not a completely green person, but we try to do our part.  My sincere apologies for using this many plastic garbage bags, but again, we're talking about little vampire bugs and I'm not taking any chances.  Sheets went over the sofas so we could wash and dry them at the end of the day and the girls would have a place to sit.  I think we spent $20 at redbox in three days so they could have something to watch as we picked through every strand of their hair.  And the process continues every day until there are no little eggs on ANYONE'S heads.

One of the girls has a friend she is pretty sure won't be able to play with her at all this summer because of the lice.  She had it a while ago and it took her mom months to get rid of.  I don't blame her.  If I had to deal with these critters for that long I may never let my kids go anywhere. And if you have ever looked for those eggs you know they are hard to see.  If you feel that way about someone else who has lice, be sure you talk to them, find out what they are doing.  Offer help.  The only way to get rid of lice is to be proactive.  I HATE these things, but you HAVE to talk to people about it.

So now the hard part.  My head still itches.  Mentally I think we're fine, I'll give the girls who had the lice and myself a second treatment on day nine.  Why did I choose day nine?  We're suppose to be leaving on vacation on day eleven.  We can't leave if there is anything left.  I won't expose family and strangers who'll be staying at our timeshare after us.  So, we treat on day nine, check on day nine and check again on day ten just for good measure.  For those who are new to lice, the second treatment is not optional.  Those eggs are so hard to see, and there are so many hairs to look through.  It only takes one to start the whole cycle over again, and we're not taking any chances over here.

In the meantime...girls we didn't find anything on are free to roam as usual except my time is a little more limited in transporting them where they wish to go, and providing they stay clean.  If anything changes in their status, as part of the full court press they're benched.

Those who had the little vampire bugs aren't allowed anywhere until they are nit free for at least three days.  Again, those eggs are hard to see and there is a harsh reality that you won't find all of them in one sitting.  I figure three days is enough time for me to really inspect as well as I possibly can.  Again, retreating still is not optional.  I don't care if the child has been clear since the day we treated the bug, my eyes aren't perfect...it's not worth the gamble in my book.

Now, I am a little more nervous this time because we have summer vacation plans that I do not want to adjust.  So we are bound and determined to be clear before we leave town.  With that in mind, I went psycho and we're trying all sorts of home remedies also.  We are combing through the conditioner, we have sprinkled rosemary all over the sofa, on their mattresses, and in all the pillowcases.  We applied an olive oil and vinegar mixture to everyone's heads tonight and are hoping it will finish off any determined vampire bugs.

I have been getting between three and four hours sleep each night. With all day spent inspecting and picking and evenings spent working on the house, I now have come down with some cold junk and am sick to top it off.

Today I woke up and with hours of picking ahead of me, I can barely stand up. I am feeling defeated, want to throw in the towel and it happens.  I realize I can understand why some parents just don't want to deal with it.  The fact is they are so annoying, and time consuming.  It is 2:00 a.m. Wednesday morning and I have done nothing more than cook meals and wash dishes and deal with lice since Friday morning. My life has been on hold for five days going on six.  I can't even begin to tell you all the things I needed to do before we are planning to leave next week.  EVERYTHING IS ON HOLD.  Selfish little vampire bugs.  (Did I mention I hate them?)  Regardless, at that moment where I felt defeat I understood.  It doesn't mean I agree, because I don't, but I can understand why people can get to that point.  So now I sit, with the oil and vinegar mixture in my shower cap on my head.  I look ridiculous, but so do the rest of my family members who are wearing the same things, with their towels over their pillows on their bed.  I'm hoping and praying everyone stays clean from here on out.  I am grateful school is out, and I am especially grateful we're leaving our home so they girls won't start asking about bags in the garage.  They'll have a full three weeks to become lice free.

Lastly, as horrible as this is for me and everyone else who has to deal with it, just be up front and honest with people.  It is so important to tell everyone you can.  Let word get through the grapevine in case there is someone you forgot.  Communication is key, knowledge is power.

It's okay to melt down. We have spent close to $200 in product and combs and home remedies and I didn't really have that money to spend in the first place.  Am I angry?  Yes. Am I mad at anyone in particular?  Not really.  I'm a little disappointed in the lack of communication from my daughter's classroom, but I also understand how it was missed.  I hope they will learn for the future that this is a check and balance type communication.  Have someone you can talk to when you are going to lose it.  The kids will get tired and bored and drive you crazy.  You'll start second guessing yourself no matter how efficiently your plan is executed.  Make sure you have a sounding block outside your home.  Your spouse will hear enough from you as it is, and it's important that you two stay on the same team.

And finally, I regret that my guard down and we will be checking for lice in our home at least once every other week.  Nothing as labor intensive as when you know it's infested your home, but labor intensive enough that I can sleep at night.  That electronic comb may be the best investment ever.  You may feel you can't do it any more, you may feel you don't have the strength or the time or the energy.  PRAY!!!  He will make you equal to the task.  Although I would prefer he just remove the lice altogether, I can't tell you how many times I've picked up the exact strand of hair an egg is attached to as I'm feeling my eyelids are heavy and don't believe I can look any more.  It's a long haul, but you don't have to do it alone.

Family

We had a wonderful Easter spending time with family.  I reflected on this and thought about it the whole four and a half hour drive home.  I thought about family and the interesting twist the meaning of the word is in our family.

The dictionary defines family as a noun, a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not.  Then, you have the subsequent definition of any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins.  That's not exactly what I think of when I think of family.

See, for Easter dinner my three siblings, and their immediate families were there.  We also have my parent's neighbor Carol over.  She's practically another grandparent to my kids and another mother to me.  There were also the Palmers, who were in the ward my family attended and who help my parents at the family history library.  Brother Roquita came, his wife and daughter were ill or they would have been there also.  Then we have our friends the Betzers.  They've been friends of our family for a while and they were there with their two little ones. Now, this was actually a small group to my parents for Sunday dinner.  Usually, we also have other friends of our family, Gwen, who we've known for years, and Mary, another long time friend of my mom.  We also have my brother's in-laws who come over almost every week too.  My family has since moved, so we aren't able to enjoy the weekly "family" dinner, but it is still a tradition and a huge cornerstone in the lives of my children.  Every member of our Sunday meal group is who they consider to be family.

The funny thing is this isn't all for our family either.  We still have the family who live away from us, and then there's the ward family we moved from.  There are several people we left behind when we moved that we "have" to see each visit.  They're family.  We have woven ourselves into each others lives and by so doing, they have become a part of what we call, family.

I've tried to come up with a good definition for family.  No matter how I try I can't put it into words.  Maybe it's because the feelings and emotions I have for these people I know and love and hold so dear to my heart I'm not sure there's a way to express how I feel about them.  Maybe it's because the English language doesn't hold a definition for what I consider to be family in my life.  Even though I can't find a simple definition for such a word, I am so grateful for those I am able to consider family.  For all they have done for us and for the many contributions they have made to our lives.  I love you all.

Keeping the Dirt out of our Homes

It was a painful cleaning week.  You know the times where you really try to teach the kids how it's suppose to be done.  It takes forever.  Explaining and showing, and redoing, and helping them to feel really good about what they are doing in the process.  I've decided it's one of the hardest things you do as a parent...at least for me.  It would be so much easier to send them out on the trampoline and just do it myself. However, I know, and everyone else knows, this isn't going to help them in the long run, and it certainly won't help them have a vested interest in keeping the house clean now if they don't own part of it.

Well, as we were cleaning we had a phenomenon occur which happens frequently during cleaning day in our home.  While one child is trying to clean the floors, the other is trying to clean the carpets, and the overlap means either sofas are on the tile, or chairs on the carpet, and it can be a little contentious while trying to work out who should do what first.  This led to an interesting conversation.  We were talking about the order of things, and how sometimes sweeping around the carpet needs to be done before vacuuming the carpet so you don't track all the dirt from the floor onto the clean carpet.  This led to a discussion not about cleaning floors, but about repentance.

Sometimes when we are working on changing a habit we have developed, or in repenting of something we've done, we don't put in the effort to remove ourselves from the environment that got us there in the first place.  Just like the situation with the carpets and the floor around it.  If a teenager has gotten themselves in a situation where they have started drinking because he/she was going to parties, repenting of the drinking may clean the carpet, but if he/she continues to go to parties, chances are the dirt from the floor is going to get tracked back in.  In other words, you can't expect to change the behavior if you aren't willing to change your surroundings.

The greatest part of the discussion...cleaning day was very pleasant.  Everyone was very helpful, and eager to work together to make sure the dirt from another area wasn't making into an area that was already clean.  Hence, the real parallel between the cleaning and repentance.  I feel like sometimes we think when we make a mistake the people who are closest to you and love you the most may be disappointed, frustrated or even angry with us if they know what's happened.  The reality is, when those who truly love you know, they want to help you in any way they can.  They want to help you to keep your life clean.

I hope my children got the message...there is a lot more than vacuuming and sweeping involved when it comes to keeping the dirt of the world out of our homes.

Remembering the miracle

I feel all of us can relate to going through hard times.  Sometimes it's because we may be suffering physically, emotionally or spiritually.  It may be because someone we know and love may be suffering through these same difficulties.  Sometimes it's because of financial hardships. Many right now are suffering discouragement because of lack of employment and the physical repercussions that brings.  It may be an unexpected death of a loved one.  Sometimes it's just plain disappointment.  There is no way to avoid it; all of us go through hard times. 

I find myself when facing these sorts of trials relying on a certain amount of optimism to get me through.  Hoping that everything will all work out for the best, hoping that there is something I am suppose to learn through all this that will benefit someone in the future, hoping that my faith is enough to know that Heavenly Father knows better than I, or maybe hoping for some sort of miracle to make it all go away.

I do believe in miracles.  I believe in the power of the priesthood on the earth today.  I believe that my Heavenly Father does know more than I do, and can see the end from the beginning.  I believe there are some things I have to face so I can learn what He already knows, and there are some things I have to face just because I'm human and make mistakes.  But more importantly, sometimes the simple fact is, the miracle we are looking for may have already happened.

The miracle we need may be as simple as turning to the atonement for strength.  Turning to the knowledge that our Savior sacrificed for us so we can live with He and our Heavenly Father again.  Turning to the knowledge that we can be forgiven of our sins, that the pain He suffered on that cross is not only to bear sorrow we feel when we make a mistake, but to bear sorrow we feel when we are facing difficult times in our lives.  Knowing that if we are willing to hand over the heartache to Him, that He will take it from us.   Sometimes, we are so caught up in our moment of distress we don't reach out to hold on to the one thing that can save our hearts and our souls.  We may not be able to see far enough to see the end that is in His sight.  We may not be able to see the big picture and to know this small moment is really a lot smaller that we think.

The simple truth is the miracle that really matters, the miracle that can really make a difference in every difficulty we face has already happened.  Remembering that over two thousand years ago our Savior suffered through the atonement and because of that He knows every pain, every heartache, every disappointment I feel.  Remembering that three days after He did everything necessary to take the pain away He was resurrected and as a result I can have eternal life.  Remembering that the only one who keeps Him from feeling peace when I am suffering is myself.  I'm not saying we don't need to grieve, and I'm certainly not saying we don't need to feel, but sometimes, I feel if we are willing to remember the miracle, He will make it easier, He will help us to understand, and He will help to sustain us so we can make it through even the hardest and most difficult of time.  And that is exactly why it is plain and simply, the greatest miracle of all.

For a moment...

Okay, so this isn't a Sunday reflection, it's a Thursday night reflection.  But with how busy things get around here, I'll take the quite reflective moments whenever I can get them.

We had the missionaries from our church over for dinner last night.  Two young men in the early twenties, far from their homes.  We had a nice casual dinner, chicken alfredo and salad.  The conversation was generally casual also.  We hadn't met either of them before, so it was just nice to be able to sit and get to know them a little better.

One, however, made a few comments that made me pause.  I thought at one point, "did he really just say that?"  I started thinking about the people they were probably teaching and wondering if he just felt really comfortable around us or if this was the way he acted toward everyone he came in contact with.  It happened...I had started to judge him.  I didn't realize it at the time, but I had.  I had started taking notice of very minimal things in a critical way.

After dinner though, something miraculous happened.  These two elders had a little lesson to share with our family.  As they spoke about Christ, the spirit filled the room.  There was some interaction between our family and the missionaries, the kids answered questions, the missionaries spoke, and I was completely overcome by the peace that had filled the room. 

I then found myself looking over at this young man whom I had become a little critical of.  I no longer saw someone who had made comments I felt the need to question.  What I saw was a boy, scared to death to leave his home, trying with all his might to make himself comfortable in other people's homes.  I saw a young man who had a strong enough testimony of his Savior, Jesus Christ, that he didn't care if he was out of his comfort zone, because he knew what he was doing right now was more important that anything else he could be doing at this time.  I saw a beloved child of God.

I then realized what I had done over dinner, and was so grateful I had the opportunity to "have my eyes opened" and to see things as they really were and not as I thought they had been. For a moment, a great and wonderful moment...I could see clearly.

Not so Fast Sunday...

I usually LOVE Sundays.  Everyone's home, we can spend time together, even if everyone is doing they're own thing, we are together.  Usually it's for the most part good for all of us...until the dreaded day of the fast.

We have kids of all ages so it's starts in the morning with a couple (including the almost two year old) who need to eat, then the recently baptized child is counting down the minutes until she reaches lunch which is our goal for her since she's only been truly fasting a couple of months.  By the time noon rolls around the two oldest are getting short tempered, child #2 is now complaining about how long it will be until dinner. Anyone who knows me well enough knows I get a little irritable without food, so my patience is a little short and I'm becoming a not so good variable in this equation.

At this point, the hubby and I get hit with child #2 turning pre-law debater on us and we hear the following. "If I have free agency and I'm the one accountable for my choices, why do you feel like you can make me fast...."

Ummmm - I've got nothing.  Not even the "because I said" argument has come to mind.  And I'm sorry, for all of you who have perfect children, but when your child is hungry it is not the time to remind them that they are learning and growing and it's hard but it's worth it.  She didn't want to hear any of it, and I know had I even tried to answer, what would have come out of my mouth would probably not have been said with a great deal of love, charity, kindness or anything that even resembles any of these things.

The reality is, I know it's hard. Fasting is something I have struggled with continually. However, I still remember when I finally got it and really found it was worth it.  I had a seminary teacher who was going in for a surgery and we fasted as a class on a Thursday at school.  Okay, it's hard enough to fast on Sunday when the whole ward and your family are fasting with you.  You know your Sunday School teacher is not going to wave a bag of chips in front of you, or that your friend isn't going to offer to share a soda with you between classes because they notice you haven't had anything to eat or drink all morning, but at high school....when I was there the whole place smelled of junk food, it was pure torture!!!  At the same time, however, it became the basis for my testimony.  For no other reason than I learned that I could fast.  I learned that I could pray, and fast with a purpose and I could overcome my physical needs and desires for a spiritual purpose.


So, you ask, who won...we all did.  She actually made it until after church ended at 4:00.  After she ate at 4:30 she turned back into her normally, mostly pleasant, personality.  She learned she could do it, and I realized that sometimes trying to help our kids so they aren't feeling that "I wish I knew then what I know now" later in life is a little more painful...but honestly feel for all of us it will be worth it.

Traveling with the kids

  We try so hard with vacationing NOT to travel on Sundays.  Yes, this is self inflicted pain.  We have decided with the kids it is best to stay consistent, so keeping our Sabbath Day observance in the car creates a great deal of pain and suffering for those who are confined to a seat belt next to their siblings.  Our general rule of thumb is sticking to uplifting music, church talks, scripture reading, Personal Progress and Faith in God goals and family games.  As anyone can imagine, incorporating these activities into the confines of a car is a little bit of a challenge.

 Well, after moving to Yuma, we now find traveling on Sunday has become a little more frequent.  We have trued to compensate for the discomfort by traveling later in the evening so they can sleep in the car.  This week that did not work out and we had to get the girls up, dress them for church and then make the five hour drive with everyone wide awake and irritated at the parents.  I'm not sure what irritated them the most, the Sunday rules, the drive time, or the church clothes.  No matter, it didn't change the fact that the parents were inflicting what they all considered cruel and unusual punishment.

  And then, by some small miracle (aka the two older girls getting a short nap) it happened.  The complaints that Taylor Swift and Kate Perry are not on the Sunday music list stopped.  The girls were enjoying the family car games and laughing at each other instead of making those snide remarks to each other.  Yes, there was an occasional meltdown by the eight year old, and yes the six year old had some interesting self created tattoo art on her arms and legs by the time we got to church, but they all survived and they all were relatively pleasant.

   Now, would I do this again?  Not if I can avoid it.  It is much easier to have them all attached to their own MP3 players listening to the song they want or watching a Disney flick in the back, but the point is they did survive, and they actually wanted to play together after church.  I am so grateful for small miracles, because anyone else who has done this type of drive with five kids knows that is exactly what this is.  A small, but very significant, miracle for a mom.