Keeping the Dirt out of our Homes

It was a painful cleaning week.  You know the times where you really try to teach the kids how it's suppose to be done.  It takes forever.  Explaining and showing, and redoing, and helping them to feel really good about what they are doing in the process.  I've decided it's one of the hardest things you do as a parent...at least for me.  It would be so much easier to send them out on the trampoline and just do it myself. However, I know, and everyone else knows, this isn't going to help them in the long run, and it certainly won't help them have a vested interest in keeping the house clean now if they don't own part of it.

Well, as we were cleaning we had a phenomenon occur which happens frequently during cleaning day in our home.  While one child is trying to clean the floors, the other is trying to clean the carpets, and the overlap means either sofas are on the tile, or chairs on the carpet, and it can be a little contentious while trying to work out who should do what first.  This led to an interesting conversation.  We were talking about the order of things, and how sometimes sweeping around the carpet needs to be done before vacuuming the carpet so you don't track all the dirt from the floor onto the clean carpet.  This led to a discussion not about cleaning floors, but about repentance.

Sometimes when we are working on changing a habit we have developed, or in repenting of something we've done, we don't put in the effort to remove ourselves from the environment that got us there in the first place.  Just like the situation with the carpets and the floor around it.  If a teenager has gotten themselves in a situation where they have started drinking because he/she was going to parties, repenting of the drinking may clean the carpet, but if he/she continues to go to parties, chances are the dirt from the floor is going to get tracked back in.  In other words, you can't expect to change the behavior if you aren't willing to change your surroundings.

The greatest part of the discussion...cleaning day was very pleasant.  Everyone was very helpful, and eager to work together to make sure the dirt from another area wasn't making into an area that was already clean.  Hence, the real parallel between the cleaning and repentance.  I feel like sometimes we think when we make a mistake the people who are closest to you and love you the most may be disappointed, frustrated or even angry with us if they know what's happened.  The reality is, when those who truly love you know, they want to help you in any way they can.  They want to help you to keep your life clean.

I hope my children got the message...there is a lot more than vacuuming and sweeping involved when it comes to keeping the dirt of the world out of our homes.

Remembering the miracle

I feel all of us can relate to going through hard times.  Sometimes it's because we may be suffering physically, emotionally or spiritually.  It may be because someone we know and love may be suffering through these same difficulties.  Sometimes it's because of financial hardships. Many right now are suffering discouragement because of lack of employment and the physical repercussions that brings.  It may be an unexpected death of a loved one.  Sometimes it's just plain disappointment.  There is no way to avoid it; all of us go through hard times. 

I find myself when facing these sorts of trials relying on a certain amount of optimism to get me through.  Hoping that everything will all work out for the best, hoping that there is something I am suppose to learn through all this that will benefit someone in the future, hoping that my faith is enough to know that Heavenly Father knows better than I, or maybe hoping for some sort of miracle to make it all go away.

I do believe in miracles.  I believe in the power of the priesthood on the earth today.  I believe that my Heavenly Father does know more than I do, and can see the end from the beginning.  I believe there are some things I have to face so I can learn what He already knows, and there are some things I have to face just because I'm human and make mistakes.  But more importantly, sometimes the simple fact is, the miracle we are looking for may have already happened.

The miracle we need may be as simple as turning to the atonement for strength.  Turning to the knowledge that our Savior sacrificed for us so we can live with He and our Heavenly Father again.  Turning to the knowledge that we can be forgiven of our sins, that the pain He suffered on that cross is not only to bear sorrow we feel when we make a mistake, but to bear sorrow we feel when we are facing difficult times in our lives.  Knowing that if we are willing to hand over the heartache to Him, that He will take it from us.   Sometimes, we are so caught up in our moment of distress we don't reach out to hold on to the one thing that can save our hearts and our souls.  We may not be able to see far enough to see the end that is in His sight.  We may not be able to see the big picture and to know this small moment is really a lot smaller that we think.

The simple truth is the miracle that really matters, the miracle that can really make a difference in every difficulty we face has already happened.  Remembering that over two thousand years ago our Savior suffered through the atonement and because of that He knows every pain, every heartache, every disappointment I feel.  Remembering that three days after He did everything necessary to take the pain away He was resurrected and as a result I can have eternal life.  Remembering that the only one who keeps Him from feeling peace when I am suffering is myself.  I'm not saying we don't need to grieve, and I'm certainly not saying we don't need to feel, but sometimes, I feel if we are willing to remember the miracle, He will make it easier, He will help us to understand, and He will help to sustain us so we can make it through even the hardest and most difficult of time.  And that is exactly why it is plain and simply, the greatest miracle of all.

For a moment...

Okay, so this isn't a Sunday reflection, it's a Thursday night reflection.  But with how busy things get around here, I'll take the quite reflective moments whenever I can get them.

We had the missionaries from our church over for dinner last night.  Two young men in the early twenties, far from their homes.  We had a nice casual dinner, chicken alfredo and salad.  The conversation was generally casual also.  We hadn't met either of them before, so it was just nice to be able to sit and get to know them a little better.

One, however, made a few comments that made me pause.  I thought at one point, "did he really just say that?"  I started thinking about the people they were probably teaching and wondering if he just felt really comfortable around us or if this was the way he acted toward everyone he came in contact with.  It happened...I had started to judge him.  I didn't realize it at the time, but I had.  I had started taking notice of very minimal things in a critical way.

After dinner though, something miraculous happened.  These two elders had a little lesson to share with our family.  As they spoke about Christ, the spirit filled the room.  There was some interaction between our family and the missionaries, the kids answered questions, the missionaries spoke, and I was completely overcome by the peace that had filled the room. 

I then found myself looking over at this young man whom I had become a little critical of.  I no longer saw someone who had made comments I felt the need to question.  What I saw was a boy, scared to death to leave his home, trying with all his might to make himself comfortable in other people's homes.  I saw a young man who had a strong enough testimony of his Savior, Jesus Christ, that he didn't care if he was out of his comfort zone, because he knew what he was doing right now was more important that anything else he could be doing at this time.  I saw a beloved child of God.

I then realized what I had done over dinner, and was so grateful I had the opportunity to "have my eyes opened" and to see things as they really were and not as I thought they had been. For a moment, a great and wonderful moment...I could see clearly.

Not so Fast Sunday...

I usually LOVE Sundays.  Everyone's home, we can spend time together, even if everyone is doing they're own thing, we are together.  Usually it's for the most part good for all of us...until the dreaded day of the fast.

We have kids of all ages so it's starts in the morning with a couple (including the almost two year old) who need to eat, then the recently baptized child is counting down the minutes until she reaches lunch which is our goal for her since she's only been truly fasting a couple of months.  By the time noon rolls around the two oldest are getting short tempered, child #2 is now complaining about how long it will be until dinner. Anyone who knows me well enough knows I get a little irritable without food, so my patience is a little short and I'm becoming a not so good variable in this equation.

At this point, the hubby and I get hit with child #2 turning pre-law debater on us and we hear the following. "If I have free agency and I'm the one accountable for my choices, why do you feel like you can make me fast...."

Ummmm - I've got nothing.  Not even the "because I said" argument has come to mind.  And I'm sorry, for all of you who have perfect children, but when your child is hungry it is not the time to remind them that they are learning and growing and it's hard but it's worth it.  She didn't want to hear any of it, and I know had I even tried to answer, what would have come out of my mouth would probably not have been said with a great deal of love, charity, kindness or anything that even resembles any of these things.

The reality is, I know it's hard. Fasting is something I have struggled with continually. However, I still remember when I finally got it and really found it was worth it.  I had a seminary teacher who was going in for a surgery and we fasted as a class on a Thursday at school.  Okay, it's hard enough to fast on Sunday when the whole ward and your family are fasting with you.  You know your Sunday School teacher is not going to wave a bag of chips in front of you, or that your friend isn't going to offer to share a soda with you between classes because they notice you haven't had anything to eat or drink all morning, but at high school....when I was there the whole place smelled of junk food, it was pure torture!!!  At the same time, however, it became the basis for my testimony.  For no other reason than I learned that I could fast.  I learned that I could pray, and fast with a purpose and I could overcome my physical needs and desires for a spiritual purpose.


So, you ask, who won...we all did.  She actually made it until after church ended at 4:00.  After she ate at 4:30 she turned back into her normally, mostly pleasant, personality.  She learned she could do it, and I realized that sometimes trying to help our kids so they aren't feeling that "I wish I knew then what I know now" later in life is a little more painful...but honestly feel for all of us it will be worth it.